All Better....

My SPACE
Originally uploaded by MariGerard.

Ok- not completely of course- I'm not a robot..but after a really crazy night..I had some Epiphany's...I had made some misinterpretations, Chris made some too, I had an idea that our relationship was one way when he saw it totally another. Truely the Chris I was so in love with, was not the Chris, Chris was being. And I being so blinded by love didn't see that. But we do care for each other and we want to remain friends, and that means my own space. This will have to do for now (see pic-its my room-very cool if I do say so) In 4 months according to the budget Chris and I layed out I will have all my basic belongings(the ones I sold to move) back and a really cool apt in my friend Jason's building. I feel like I will be able to get really right with me,through this and put my heart and soul into the company I am forming with my three best friends (and yes Chris is still one of them-we are going to be the next Steppenwolf), and find a man who wants to really give his heart to me. And if that last part doesn't happen for a long time..that is going to be ok..life is more than men. I'm in chicago baby! I don't have to pay for gas! I live with 1 million people...how could I have thought I was going to be alone. Sorry if I freaked anyone out. I am going to be fine and actually, today I feel really good about my future, excited even. I know this must seem crazy comming one day after the angry post..but when I wrote that I was just talking from hurt, and I really had a copletely different perception of our relationship. Now that I'm not deluded I can learn my lessons and feel ok. I can be a grown up...I knew I could. Thanks for all the positive vibes. Send Chris some too..it took big balls to be has honest with me as he was, and truely I thank him deeply for that.